My 2009 In Pictures

This year has been filled with so much it's impossible to wrap it up into a few words.

Let the pictures that captured my 2009 year explain the highlights!

Thai Food

(My First Time)

 Nannying

 Adventures with Rachel

Salsa Dancing

(My First Time)

Move to NY

(My Second Time)

 Lots of Planting, Pulling, and Picking

 

 Rachel's Visit to NY!

 Our Mall Trip

Trip To NYC

 A LOT of Stawberries!

Two fairs, lots of rides!

 Parties and Swimming

Farmers Markets!

Blueberries and more Blueberries!

Date Nights

Going Out for some, Staying In for others

The Book of Acts

Job at Faith Fellowship Daycare

Birthday Trip to the Winery

Turning 21 and experiencing it's advantages 

(First Time trying Wine)

Making New Friends
(espeically Mandee on Left)

More parties...

Visting Home

(First Time Flying)

First Perfect Margarita with Strawberry

As the 2009 year comes to an end,

 I celebrate where God has brought me and where He is bringing me.

What He has taught and what He is still teaching me.

 Life is a beautiful thing and as I look back on 2009,

I carry with me memories and lessons learned into the year 2010.

Thanking God for everything He has done and everything He will do!

Happy New Year Everyone!

The Beauty of Life

As I am tentatively making plans to have my dad fly here on the 8th of January to drive home with me, I’m overloaded with feelings, but there is beauty in it all!

I’m excited, yet anxious, for what is to come. I’m ecstatic to be coming home, but the reality of not having a job hits me. Questions like “where should I apply?” and “when will I find one?” Roam through my mind.

Where’s the beauty in that?
I know that God is directing my path and
trust He will provide the right job at the right time.
That, my friends, is beautiful!

I’m not only eager for what is to come in my life, but I’m also thrilled for James and what is to come in his life. He is just now starting on a journey he has desired and I have encouraged him to pursue. He’s finally met a man willing to take James under his wing and mentor him. This also makes me sad, though, that I can’t be apart of this great thing that is happening in James’s life.

Beautiful.

When there is an end, there is a new beginning.

Though I may not be directly apart of what James will be doing,

we serve the same God and
will be seeking to spread the same good news

 and be bringing the same Kingdom on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Beautiful.

I can’t wait to get plugged in. Connecting to a church has been a very long, confusing process out here and I can’t wait to get reconnected and plugged in at The Open Door. I look forward to the sermons, worshipping with them, and I’m hoping to be apart of the mentoring program they started up last fall. Not to mention the Single’s Nights they have…

I love what is going on at The Open Door.

 I love what it can offer me and I love what I have to offer the church.

Fellowship.

Worship.

Spiritual Growth.

Beautiful.

I still deeply desire to find the man I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. I’m very hopeful that he is out there, but I’m back to the waiting and looking stage, which I have very mixed emotions about. I know it can and will be fun, but I crave that committed relationship.

As much as I don’t like “the process”, it really is beautiful.

The growth and lessons learned are important for what is to come.

It may not be easy to go through,

 but it’s beautiful to look back on and see just how God works.

With that being said, I’m also trying to figure out what the healthy way for James and I to move on looks like, but still remain friends. I wonder if that’s even possible. Is there a certain time frame? Will one just know when another person comes along, that it’s time? Or does a person just “feel” ready?

It’s beautiful that I don’t HAVE to know these answers.

 I can just trust in God and

know He is leading me on the path that He wills,
that which is beautiful!

I’m still feeling so at peace with James and the decision we’ve made. In fact, I’m surprisingly enjoying these last moments I’ll share with him, here in NY. I know I will miss his friendship so much, once I leave. That makes it very bittersweet for me.

To have peace during moments such as these is simply beautiful.

No more explanation need as far as I am concerned.

I’m sad to leave the friends I’ve made out here. The Widrick family has been so good to James and I, opening up their doors for community and letting us be apart of their family. I’m thankful for them and how helpful they have been to me.

What I’ve share with them as been a blessing.

It’s encouraging to know people such as these exist and

are willing to demonstrate the heart of Christ.

You guess it, Beautiful!

I’m looking forward to the road trip home with my dad! I love to drive, he loves to drive. I’m not worried; if something would happen he’d know what to do. I know it will be some good 21 hours of quality time spent with him and I am looking forward to that. Plus, the fact that the end destination is just what I need for now makes me antsy.

Road trips are beautiful.

Spending time with my dad is beautiful.

Coming home is beautiful.

I love to pack, but I’m still not in the mood to start. Looking at all my stuff and thinking about it going BACK into my car for another trip, doesn’t bring me too much thrill. I am hoping that once I do start, which will be soon, that I’ll get into my groove and enjoy the packing process. I really can’t wait until I get to unpack it though!

The process, remember, it’s beautiful!

Since I’ve been away from home and out of my parents house for quite some time, I knew I’d prefer to find an apartment or another form of housing, but I wasn’t sure I could find something affordable or ideal. But I did! I’m so blessed to have a cousin who offered me a room in her house, not only to rent when I do get a job, but to live there until I do!

My cousin is beautiful and her generosity is beautiful.

This opportunity is beautiful!

Amongst those emotions, there are emotions that I don’t feel, for which I am so grateful.

I haven’t felt ashamed or judgment coming from anyone at home and that speaks volumes to me about the family and friends I’m blessed with. I’m seriously thankful for the support and encouragement I have received.

The hearts of these people and knowing they are in my life is all so beautiful.

I haven’t felt anger towards James with the direction of our relationship. As we talk about it, it’s truly beautiful that our feelings are so mutual. I don’t just mean the part of us breaking up even, but just how hopeful we are for each other and still supportive and understanding. It amazes me.

The freedom I have from such feelings are so beautiful

and I have Christ to thank for that.

If it weren’t for His beautiful sacrifice,

I have a feeling James and I would have a whole lot more to say about each other,

 but we don’t, because of Christ’s beauty.

In all of this, it really isn’t hard to find the beauty. My emotions are all over the board, but there is beauty above them all.

Christmas Morning

This morning, when I woke up, I ran right to the Christmas tree!

Nope, okay I didn't do that...

There isn't even a Christmas tree to run to.

That's not the point though.

This morning, when I woke up, I didn't do any present opening.

I had already done that, in the last couple of weeks!

I've cheated the Christmas morning of it's usual present excitment.

My parents had given me money while I was home for Thanksgiving, for my Christmas present.

So I've been shopping right a long, doing my best to spend the money on "only fun things!"

Boy, that wasn't so hard, let me tell you!

I know, Christmas isn't about this at all,

but I promised I'd post pictures of the things I got,

so let's just pretend it's Christmas morning,

and you're all watching me open my gifts.

3 pairs of earrings

5 Shirts

A Lotion

A Body Wash

2 of the same Perfumes

3 Necklaces

Thanks Mom and Dad!

and...

Merry Christmas Everyone!

The Time Has Come, Again.

As most of you know, the decision has been made to return home, again.

This time, it wasn't as easy.

This time, it's not just to take a break.

This time, I have only one reason.

This time, it's real.

The Time Has Come, Again.

And it's not easy because I love James,
a lot and he loves me.
We've invested a lot into this relationship.
Between him first driving to MN, the visits that followed, his move to MN, my visit to NY and my move and return to NY.
All that time, mostly spent together.

We've become so close,

which doesn't make it easy.

The Time Has Come, Again.

And it's not easy because with all the moving we've both done,

it's hard to say either of us would be interested in trying it again.
This is probably the last time I'll live in NY.

This time, there isn't a possibility in our minds we'll be together again,

which doesn't make it easy.

The Time Has Come, Again.

And it's not easy because, I have very few issues with James.

There aren't major things that would cause me to break up with him,

if it weren't for being so far from home.
Of course we have our little things,
but they don't really add up and weigh more than the really great things!
We get along almost all the time and
we know each other so well,
which doesn't make it easy.

The Time Has Come, Again.

And it's not easy because, it's real and it's happening.

I will be going from seeing him everyday to not seeing him at all.

I will no longer be spending most of my time around him,

instead I will be spending no time at all with him.

I will be leaving one of my best friends behind,

which doesn't make it easy.


The Time Has Come, Again....
...which doesn't make it easy.

Blizzard of a Morning

Lake Effect, what an ugly thing.
The wind is horrendous and

the existing snow blows amongst the tons
that is dropping from the sky.

This morning at 6:45, as I drove to work,

I couldn't see farther than 4 feet in front of me.

What I saw was swirls and swirls of snow

whisking through the air, it was nuts!

My drive time was doubled.

and I don't think I've ever been so nervous while driving.

But.. I arrived, on time.

And shoveled the sidewalk - pointlessly.

(it was covered within 20 minutes)

School was cancelled.

So I was actually 45 minutes early, not just on time.
Since the first to arrive is a teacher's daughter.

So while I drank my hot cocoa

I organized the bookshelf.
Small books to Large books.
It was very fun!
I actually move the bookshelf too.

(Picture from cell phone)

Several parents had call to let us know
their kid(s) weren't coming,
but there were a few that still may have.
So I waited.
Until 9.


As I waited, I dusted the toy shelf
and reorganized the toys.
Put misplaced toys in the proper tubs.
If it wasn't such terrible weather,
I would have loved to do that all day!


At 9, no one arrived yet.
So I called the parents of the kids
who still hadn't contacted us.


No kids.
I closed up shop.

Drove home, slooowly...

It's been a Blizzard of a Morning
here in NY!

Happy Birthday Dad!

Happy

Birthday

Dad!

You're really the best dad in the whole world!

I couldn't have asked for a better one!

I pray this day is as special for you
as you are to me!


Love,
Your Daughter

For Memory's Sake

It was just as I thought it would be: Fun and Games, Laughs and Hugs, Food and Drinks, Some Tears Shed, but for the most part the Togetherness I hoped for.

I think I played more games in those 8 days than I have in quite some time. I learned a new one, that took up most of the game time. Chicken Feet, I believe is the name, it's played with Domino's and a lot of fun! I also played several rounds of Solitaire Showdown, Scattegories, Guesstures, and Sequence with the people I love!

The Domino's were also used for other things:

I went bowling, thanks to Troy. It was a lot of fun, even though I never won.

(James on the Left, Cory on the Right)

I went on two double dates while I was home, both my with parents and James, obviously. One night we went out to dinner all three of them ordered ribs ($7 ribs, I might add!) and I ordered a usual Chicken Alfredo.

On the second double date we went to the movie The Blind Side. One of the better movies I've ever seen! Great storyline, appropriate scenes - that had me laughing several times, good actors/actresses, it was a very balanced movie - not too sad, funny at times, some action, good drama, some God references. I'd see it again!

I went to two different church services on Sunday, because I just couldn't choose which to go to. Both were really good, it was definitely a good feeling to be worshiping next to my family again, to see faces I hadn't seen in a long time, and hear the Word of God spoken in places that were familiar to me.

The night before I was coming back to NY, my parents, James and I volunteered our time at Operation Christmas Child! Oh how fun it was! The Warehouse is in Eden Prairie and we sorted and packed what seemed like so many boxes, but really it was only a small portion of the boxes that have been donated. I just love to serve with this organization, not only is it fun, but it really is amazing how many boxes go out to children who need the love of Jesus. I hope to one day do a little more with Operation Christmas Child, too bad NY there isn't a warehouse in NY or I'd be there every night! It was a great way to spend the last night in MN.

It sure was good to be home and I'm glad I don't have to wait very long to be there again!

Thankful Thursday

Today is the last "Thankful Thursday", but also Thanksgiving...a day that most people in the U.S. will probably gather with family/friends and eat turkey, stuffing, cranberries, corn...you know the things you eat on Thanksgiving...

I pray, that people will not only remember why we have such a holiday, but more so know Who has given them everything they have to be thankful for.


Since I am home, it is fresh in my mind what I absolutely love and what I am most thankful for about this place, so even though I've probably said some of these, on this Thankful Thursday I am thankful for...

1. The environment God placed me in. I couldn't imagine not having a place filled with people who are genuinely thrilled to know I'm around. I couldn't imagine living without having the support and love that I have here. It would be very hard and I am very thankful for the people in my life!

2. My dad and his ability to fix cars. I mean really.. I fly here, without my car and he has a car here.. that I can use. That's just crazy. And I don't have to worried that it's a junker and IF, by chance something happened, HE would be able to fix it. I'm blessed. I'm thankful. Thank You God for my Dad.

3. My mom and her cooking skills. Really, I've missed all these foods more than I thought. I've been full since my first meal. I love it. God has blessed me with a mom who knows how, is willing to, and does cook meals that I've requested during my stay. How great is that?! I think it's wonderful and I ...and my stomach..and tongue are very thankful!

4. I'm so thankful for my grandma. Visiting with her is just great. Playing cards with her is a blast and to see her laugh as hard as she does some times seriously makes my heart smile. She's sweet and I'm thankful to God to call her my grandma.

5. I'm thankful to be able to connect, discuss, ponder, disagree, and just talk with so many people. To be able to explain how I feel, think, or believe and to listen to someone else, their opinions, beliefs, thoughts. Even what something isn't concluded or solved. I still thoroughly love it. I'm thankful that God has given me such a beautiful thing and that I can connect with people, even if I don't see them for months. It's beautiful, really. And I'm thankful.

I'm participating in "Thankful Thursday"
with Samara at Simplicity in the Suburbs
for the Month of November
Please join us in this time of Thanksgiving
in the comments, if you will.
Just five things you're thankful for!

Home

I cannot wait to finally be home for a while.

There really isn't anything like being there.

No matter where I go or how settled I become,
my parent's house will always be home to me.

I love that there is almost always someone home.

Someone to talk to, to play games with, to laugh with.

The best part, it's usually not the same someone.

It's a full house, like it used to be...
but that's the way I like it!
I can't wait to finally be home with everyone in it.

At home, there is an unexplainable comfort.

We are all family, no need to impress anyone.

It's real.
If you need to cry, then cry.
Someone is there to comfort you.
I can't wait to finally be home in that comfort.

Every home has a smell.

I can't wait to smell the smell of home.

Everything I've brought has lost that aroma.

Oh, to breathe and remember the smell of home.

I just cannot wait!

In my home, there is always...

Open Arms and Helpful Hands

Words of Advice and Encouragement

Fun and Games or Serious Conversations

An open door, even if it's shut

and in my home there is always Love.

I can't wait to be at home!

The food is always delicious at home.

There is nothing quite like it.

There is always something in the fridge

and if that's just not right, the cupboards are full.

Food from the oven, grill, or stove...

there really isn't anything like homemade food.

Oh, I can't wait for my first meal at home!

I seriously just can't wait to be still at home.

I can't wait to see home after being away for this long.

I can't wait to remember what home is really like.

I seriously just can't wait to be home.

The Things They Say

Kyla (3) said to me while I was doing the dishes, "My daddia was shavin!'" and nodded to reassure me that he was as I look at her with question. Then she said while shaking her head, "But I no do that, it hurt me."

Savannah (3) said while she played, "I'm just betending." (pretending)

Josh (3) asks very often, "Teacher?" waits for a response; "Yes, Josh?" "May I get a book?" He is by far our most polite and obedience child!

Shaelyn (3) said to coach who was teasing her about stepping on her "That's not fair!" then he said "why not?" she replied "because you have BIG feet!"

While playing I Spy, Lauren - person I work with said "Do you think I have eyes on the back of my head?" because Jasmine (6) spied something orange, but it was behind Lauren. After Lauren's reply, Jasmine convincingly said "My mom DOES!" We both laughed and I asked, "how do you know she had eyes on the back of her head?" Then Jasmine said, "Because, she will be walking this way and I'll be behind her and she'll tell me to PUT THAT DOWN!"

Kyla (3) said to me as she ran with open arms, "I love you, Anna" and then just moments later as I was assisting with going potting, "I missed you, Anna"

As Josh (3) greets me with a hug as he first arrives I told him he was very cold and he replies, "It's because of the FROST!" He just moved from Georgia, so he is fascinated with the frost and the bit of snow he has seen thus far.

Friday morning, Savannah (3) said while we colored together, "Here, you take this one and I'll take out these others ones. It's $5 if you want to use them."

Shaelyn (3) said while looking for a princess doll "I can't find her, what will I do if we are late for the ball?!"

Thankful Thursday

It's Thankful Thursday everyone! It's never hard for me to come up with just five things, but as I focus on just five things, I am more aware of how incredibly thankful I really am for each and everything thing. So...Without further ado...

1. I am thankful for my best friend, Rachel. No matter where I am in life, she is there! No matter what I'm going through she listens and most of the time understands. No matter what we do together, it's always fun. I'm thankful that she's been in my life for 8 years and that in those 8 years, God has used her to teach me so many things, she's been my accountability, and my encouragement. She is the definition of Best Friend.


2. I'm thankful for food. It sounds so simple and a "typical" answer...but I really really love food. To have options, every day and all day! To have specific cravings and having the luxury to eat it just when I want it AND most of the time there isn't a limit. I can just eat and eat until I cannot fit anymore. It's definitely something I take for granted.

3. We've been talking about Thanksgiving at the daycare this week and one of the first answers to "What are you most thankful for?" was "Jesus!" It was so beautiful to hear and that's definitely something I am eternally thankful! Even after years of knowing Him personally, I STILL cannot grasp the love he must have for me, to become a lowly man and be treated the way he was, just for me. I'm so thankful that God loved me enough to send his Son to save me from what I deserve!

4. I'm thankful for the freedom I have to worship the King of all Kings. It occurred to me, on Wednesday, that I can freely blast my worship music as I drive my car. I can sing words of praise at the top of my lungs without having fear in my voice. I can search new worship songs and not wonder if I'll get caught. I can even put on a puppet show at work about Jesus and why we should be thankful for what he did for us. Yup, I'm so thankful for my freedom!

5. I'm thankful for my family. I love them all so much and really I know they are always there for me. It's unreal what a gift that is, to have ears to listen, arms ready for embrace, minds loaded with advice, and of course very helpful hands. I'm so thankful to have a family like I do!

I'm participating in "Thankful Thursday"
with Samara at Simplicity in the Suburbs

for the Month of November

Please join us in this time of Thanksgiving

in the comments, if you will.
Just five things you're thankful for!

Firsts

For some reason in the last couple of days, I've thought to myself on several occasions that I'm doing things for the first time in my life (IML) or first time in New York (INY). Just thought I'd record and share them with you.

I bought a new cell phone (INY). First one (IML) to have a keypad and flip open the way it does.

Two week ago, I made lunch for the first time at daycare (IML)

Now, I know that doesn't sound so great, but I've helped with breakfast and snacks...I just wasn't ready to make lunch because I hadn't quite grasped how much of what to make, how exactly it was usually made, or if the meal itself took a long time for the kids to eat or just a short time.

I deposited a check for the first time in my new checking account. (INY)

In 10 days, I'll experience my first commercial flight. (IML)

But not my first time flying, thanks to my uncle Chuck who is a pilot.

I entered my PIN for my debit card for the first time this past week. (IML)

My car had it's first flat tire. (IMY)

I experienced my first snowfall! (INY)

Last week, was the first morning frost I've had to scrape off my windows. (INY)

I attended Mass for the first time (INY) with Picker Ed and James. (IML)

This was a deal Ed and I made, if we went to Mass, he'd come to a service.

I tried a Chinese fruit for the first time (IML) and I don't even know the name of it.

I bought and now own, for the first time (IML), a box of 96 Crayola crayons.

I recently (as of the last two nights) started coloring after I get home from work and seriously love it!

For the first time (IMY), I've been away from home for 7 months!

Even at 21, my life is filled with firsts! As I thought I could probably have enough to post about, I realized that my the firsts I mentioned here are all mostly positive. Which made me then realize, my life is really good these days. I've even noticed more spunk in my step, patience in my voice, passion in my day, and even excitement as the alarm goes off!

Needless to say, God is GOOD!!

Thankful Thursday

1. I am so thankful for the amazing fall weather this week. As I posted last week, it was snowing and I thought winter was here. Nope! It reached 70 once this week and has been in the mid 60's for the rest of it! Oh, how I love warm weather and I am thankful for this one last glimpse of it before things change for a while!

2. I am thankful that my cell phone is still usable after falling into the toilet. Now don't think I was texting or talking on it while I was using the bathroom facilities, rather it was in my pocket and I was helping a lil one get the training seat onto the toilet. I watched it plop and settle. Thankfully, it was just flushed after another lil one used it, so I reached right in and grabbed a paper towel to dry it off. Unfortunately, some buttons aren't quite right and it IS about time I get a new one...so I'm going to look and maybe buy another one soon.

3. I am thankful that God has been working in me. My doubts and concerns that I wrote about here have become mostly silent. He is teaching me to truly trust Him and His Word, to have patience, and to know that He IS directing my path, no matter how confusing it all seems to me. He's teaching me that it's okay to use discernment, but to grasp and hold onto the truth that I do hear. I'm so thankful God is working in me!

4. I am thankful that my car's headlights went out when they did, that I noticed it when I did, that it didn't cost me a lot to replace them, and that James knew how to install the new ones. I didn't hit a deer.
I didn't get a ticket.
I didn't brake the bank.
and
I didn't have to pay someone an insanely high installation fee.

and on this Thankful Thursday

5. I am very thankful for my job. I've said it before and I'll say it again. God dropped the best thing into my lap! It is so perfect for me! The hours aren't bad, the pay is just about right, and environment is encouraging. To top all that off, the kids are usually really good! I know my patience could be tested way more than it ever really is. I just love it and I'm so thankful to be working there!

I am participating in "Thankful Thursday"
with Samara at Simplicity in the Suburbs

for the Month of November.
Please join us during this time of thanksgiving

in the comments, if you will.
Just 5 things you're thankful for!

The Things They Say

Remi (3) said while playing "In my opinion, I am a princess..." pause as the thinks about it. "...In my opinion."

Kyla (3) said after a bowel movement "My butt don't hurt" as she shakes her head wildly

Lauren (21 months) after I sneakily ask her "Do you remember my name?" "Anna." Oh how I love that!

Jed (3) says as he changes his mind from being done to not being done, "I have to poop." Moments later... "Did you hear that?" Thankfully, I was spared.

Remi (3) said as she pulls up her shorts "I got my shorts on all by myself!" then loudly "Yah Remi!!"

Josh (4) said as he looked out the window, "It must be autumn." because the leaves were falling like rain.

Savannah (3) said to me while I was writing her name with crayons, "You have such bEEaUUtiful letters, Miss Anna!"

Jed (3) said to Kyla, "Shit! GO SHIT!" Jed can't always pronounce his S's correctly. Realizing he was saying "Sit! Go Sit!" I had to pick up my jaw. He said it several times after that, I'm not sure why he really wanted her to "shit".

I love my job, so much!

Birthday Fun!

With James turning 25 and a time to celebrate his life, we've been having a lot of fun! I didn't start planning a whole lot until Wednesday and Thursday of last week. I have a tendency to get so excited it's almost unbearable for me to not drop hits and wait, but I had developed some fun ideas!

I had to work on Friday, which was okay, it actually turned out to be one of the best days I've worked so far. Maybe, because I was so excited for the day, that I had more patience...but I think the kids were extra good AND I got enough sleep the night before.

After work I picked up a few things to hide in his Scavenger Hunt I planned for him. Oh how much fun I had! On his hunt, he was all over the house and even outside at one point. He had clues like "Mr. and Mrs. Smith ...nope, not you and I" directing him to the movie Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Another with only lines, where he had to play "Hang Man" to figure out what the clue was (h_ _ _ _ rger helper is all he needed). It was just a lot of fun! Also on his hunt, he found a mini cake, which I had a candle on top, so I lit it and sang "Happy Birthday" to him, 3 shirts, zebra cakes, and a desk-sized calender, which he's been wanting badly for Strawberry Planning.

A birthday wouldn't quite be complete without either a birthday meal specially made or dinner at a favorite restaurant. Since we don't eat out too often, I decided to bring him out for some Chinese, because when we do go out, he usually lets me pick the place...and that's never for Chinese food. He loves Chinese food, so why not hit up his favorite Chinese Buffet?!

With a full night's time ahead of us, I planned to go out dancing! He loves to dance, as do I, but really have no opportunities to do so, so I thought it would be good if we hit up the dance floor! I've only been to two weddings with him and both times, he never pulled out the dance moves he always claims to have!

But...after a long day of work for the both of us, the scavenger hunt, and eating until we couldn't eat anymore. We were tired. We decided to save the night of dancing for another time and just head home. On our way through town, we came near to the movie theater. I remembered that "This Is It" was playing and thought James might want to see that. He did, so we went. Michael Jackson, really has skills! His voice is still going strong and those dance moves.. they are so impressive! I guarantee better than anything James or I could have pulled of!

We must be getting old if we traded a night of dancing for a movie filled with it. But, oh well.. We'll save that for a night when we have enough energy to make the night as fun as it can be!

Happy 25th Birthday!

Here are

25

reasons why I'm

thankful

James M. Smith

was
Born:

1. He brings a smile to my face everyday.


2. He eats whatever I don't want.


3. He practices patience very well.


4. He sets a prime example of being slow to anger.


5. Through him, God has taught me so much!


6. His quirks are good for the world, and even me.


7. He isn't afraid to go against the grain.


8. I needed a country, land-lovin, sky watching man!


9. He speaks from his heart and doesn't hide the truth.


10. He balances my personality better than anyone I know.


11. He pursues his dreams, even if they seem impossible to some.


12. He makes me laugh, mostly when he isn't trying to.


13. He puts other people before himself, almost too much.


14. Someone had to keep my cold-being warm!


15. He desires to connect God's people, regardless of denomination.


16. He's tall, dark, and handsome, not to mention his inner beauty.


17. I would have no reason to be living in NY.
    
18. I enjoy being apart of his life and wouldn't want it any other way.


19. He has taught me almost everything I know about strawberries.
    
    
20. He is the life of the party, at parties, but calm and collect otherwise.
    
    
21. He's my favorite person to teach new games to.
    (because it takes him a while to catch on,
    so we can to play and play and play,
    which most people get bored of, but not me!!)
    
    
22. He's always there for me, even when I'm not ready to talk.
    
    
23. He keeps me on track and accountable to my actions.
    
    
24. People are his passion and his drive.
    
    
    and...
    
25. I love him so much!
    My life wiould be drastically different
    without him in it. His life is close to my heart.
    And I take him for granted a little too often!
    
    James, thank you so much for being who you are in Christ. For seeking to glorify Him in all you do, for making your life worth living! You're a blessing to me and I thank God I am able to celebrate your life with you today! May He bless you with many more of these days so we can love as Jesus loved and live life as He intended it to be lived!
    Happy Birthday, Bubba!

Thankful Thursday

1. I am thankful that James noticed my tire was flat last night and filled it with air at 6:00 this morning before I had to leave for work.

2. I am convinced that I had the Swine Flu, but very thankful that it never got unbearable.

3. Even though I'm not a fan of it, I am thankful the snow began to fall as beautifully as it did today, because THAT means spring is next!

4. I am ever so thankful that God provides, ALL THE TIME. I may not have thousands in my savings account, but that doesn't matter. I know I can always count on God to provide the things that I need and believe that He WILL provide.

5. I am thankful, and counting down the days until, I get to greet and hug all the ones I love back in MN in just 19 days! I am also thankful that James will be joining me on my first commercial airline flight. What a seriously great thing it will be for me to be home for a short time!

I am participating in "Thankful Thursday"
with Samara at Simplicity in the Suburbs
for the Month of November.
Please join us during this time of thanksgiving
in the comments, if you will.

Disguise Yourself

As a Christian, I'm not sure where I stand on the holiday of Halloween, but I do know I love to dress up and hang out with friends! Last night, Mandee, had a Disguise Yourself Party and it was a lot of fun!


After a time of mingling and munching, we headed over to the barn for some barn dancin'! I had lots of fun dancing, but most of the group didn't get into it as much as they could have, so we didn't dance as long as we could. Regardless, I do love to dance!

(Click the 'barn dancin' link to see a video of us, it may not work for everyone)

After some groovin', everyone mingled back into the house while Mandee and I set up the remaining part of the Obstacle Course! I had a blast with this, but while we explained the rules and the route of the course, not everyone listened...which made it hard during the event. BUT nonetheless, it was fun. We ran through tires, dug in a barrel full of leaves to find clothes pins, and scurried to get our teams across the pond in paddle boats - worst/best part.. my boots were FULL of water by the time I got across. After everyone was across we ran to the round pen and had a relay race! Next stop, the trailer, where James was hiding after sneaking away from the team. Scared Cassie so much she fell on the floor! Then ran across some boards, to the maze made with ropes. Grabbing a partner, one lead another across with their eyes shut, not being able to touch the ropes or else they had to start it over. Once that was complete one partner pushed or pulled the other in a wagon or dolly up the hill to wait for the rest of the team to be finished! It was fun, even though I had to explain what we were doing as we went along!! My team, finished first and found most of the hidden glow sticks!

After the course, we voted for best costume. Mel won, dressed as a clown! Great costume!

More mingling and munching took place and even some instrument playing... I of course had to put on another change of clothes. After some time, everyone gathered for a game of Mafia. Another thing that didn't go as smoothly as it could have since not everyone listened to the rules and it was just a very talkative crowd. If you've ever played it, you'd know this game require you to be quite most of the time... but again, it was still fun and gave us many laughs! Two games of it and we were all pretty exhausted. Some people left, the rest of us did some more... mingling and munching!

Mel the Clown
Mandee the Pirate
Anna the 80's Girl
Cassie the Pirate

Sam the Bum
Jacob as Zorro
Steve as God's Gift to Women
Caleb the Hick/Drunk
Jon the Cowboy
Josh the Pirate
James the 80's girl's boyfriend...in the 80's.

The night was fun, full of games and meeting new people! So even though I don't celebrate the true holiday of Halloween, I still enjoy the opportunity to have a fun night dressed as someone else!

Faith. Doubts. Me.

This is me being open, this is me being honest.

This is me when I doubt, this is me when I question.

Not many people get to see this side of me.

I like to be right.
I like to say the right things.
I like to do what is right.

I don't like to be wrong, or lose, or disappoint people.

Above all, I don't like to admit that I am wrong
..said something false
..made a mistake

...or that I don't know the answer...

Some might call me a
perfectionist,
a goody-goody,

always-have-it-together,
and never-say-a-bad-word-kinda girl...

But since this is me being honest.

I am not perfect.
I make mistakes.

I don't always have it together.

I know for sure, that I don't have all the answers,

that I doubt,

And that I have so many unanswered questions.

I do like to analyze. All summer I've been analyzing.
Myself. My Faith. My Beliefs.

What is it I look for when I go to church? Why?
What did God intended for The Church to be like?

How did The Church all start and what has it come to?

Having to find a church that "suits you" is ridiculously hard.

Moving to NY, made it real to me that
a church, isn't a church, isn't a church.
They are ALL different, even amongst the same denominations!

It made me feel guilty that I walked into a church,

naturally looking for something that "suited me".
That seems so wrong!
How did The Church get so different?
When did it start believing different things? WHY?

Why did some things become more important than others?

I knew Acts was the place to find out.
The beginning of The Church, what better place?
At the very beginning of the summer I read some of it.
Hoping and praying to find quick answers.

I wanted to find what church I should be looking for.

The answers? ...didn't find them.
I was looking for the name of a

church that I should belong to.
I was looking for the wrong answers.
I was discouraged and stopped reading.

With my questions pressing on my heart

as I experience more of the different types of churches

I just got confused.

What is the right way to pray?

Should I really be demanding God to heal someone?

Am I suppose to just trust their heart is right with God and that they believe?
What if I do pray, and the person isn't healed,
is it because I didn't have enough faith?
Or because they didn't believe?
Or maybe just not God's will??

I believe God has the power to heal people,

but why didn't He work like that in the people

at my other church as much as He seems to be here?

Could this church really have more faith than the type of church I'm "used" to?
Does prophesying really have a purpose anymore?

Since when do people prophesy over others?

Where is the line between prophesying and fortunetelling?

Most of the summer, I questioned almost everything.

During a sermon. During the singing. During the praying.

I had my "discernment ears" up,

Not sure what to believe to be The Truth.

At the same time, I fell so much in love with my Creator.

The beauty out here really has captured me.

I had my camera in hand at most given moments.

I never doubted God's existence.

I couldn't.

He was always right there, always.

Proving to me, He loved me and would never leave me.

Being who I am.

Not admitting I was struggling.

I didn't say much to anyone.

Just asking questions to James after services.

Never being to obvious, just wanting his take on somethings.

Dropping slight concern for not finding a church

to call home with Rachel and my parents.

Nothing too dramatic ever.

Then. Rachel went off to Africa.

She invites me to read the book of Acts with her.

GREAT! I always love the idea of accountability!

I had forgot I had search there during previous months.

I was all up for some new findings in the Word of God!

We would read a chapter at a time separately, obviously,

and send our responses to

each other on almost all the verses.

We aren't even close to being done. It has been amazing!

Nonetheless, with such in depth of a study,

it has only made me question and doubt even more.

She has shared her doubt with me and I with her.

Which is good, but also scary.

Why am I still doubting?

Aren't I suppose to find answers here?

Why have more questions come up?

Where am I suppose to find my answers?

I began to doubt that my faith wasn't as big as I thought it was.

This was very upsetting.

To have my faith be uncertain.

How could this be?

What is The Truth?

I know for sure, that I don't have all the answers,
that I do have doubts about so many things,
and that I have so many unanswered questions.

BUT...

I also know that I am forever saved by grace.
I know that, I am always going to live for God.
I know that, I am a follower, lover and believer in my Lord and Savior.

I will always seek to know His Truth,
which is why these thoughts and questions,
then doubt, ever came to exist within me.

Will it bring me down? Never.
Will it separate me from my Jesus? Absolutely Not!

Will I stop seeking because I don't have my answers? No.

Do I have to have all the answers? I guess not...

Does this only increase me desire to know more of this

mysterious and incredible God that I serve? Completely!

I've learned in all of this,
even though some questions still exist,
that I really don't need to know everything

to know The Truth that has set me free!

I don't need to know what the "Will of God" really means,
rather I need to trust that when I pray for direction,

He is directing my path.

I will never fully comprehend the greatest of my Lord,

so as I seek for knowledge, I pray for opportunity to increase my faith.

I'm learning to believe that my faith honors God

and that God will honor my faith.