Disguise Yourself

As a Christian, I'm not sure where I stand on the holiday of Halloween, but I do know I love to dress up and hang out with friends! Last night, Mandee, had a Disguise Yourself Party and it was a lot of fun!


After a time of mingling and munching, we headed over to the barn for some barn dancin'! I had lots of fun dancing, but most of the group didn't get into it as much as they could have, so we didn't dance as long as we could. Regardless, I do love to dance!

(Click the 'barn dancin' link to see a video of us, it may not work for everyone)

After some groovin', everyone mingled back into the house while Mandee and I set up the remaining part of the Obstacle Course! I had a blast with this, but while we explained the rules and the route of the course, not everyone listened...which made it hard during the event. BUT nonetheless, it was fun. We ran through tires, dug in a barrel full of leaves to find clothes pins, and scurried to get our teams across the pond in paddle boats - worst/best part.. my boots were FULL of water by the time I got across. After everyone was across we ran to the round pen and had a relay race! Next stop, the trailer, where James was hiding after sneaking away from the team. Scared Cassie so much she fell on the floor! Then ran across some boards, to the maze made with ropes. Grabbing a partner, one lead another across with their eyes shut, not being able to touch the ropes or else they had to start it over. Once that was complete one partner pushed or pulled the other in a wagon or dolly up the hill to wait for the rest of the team to be finished! It was fun, even though I had to explain what we were doing as we went along!! My team, finished first and found most of the hidden glow sticks!

After the course, we voted for best costume. Mel won, dressed as a clown! Great costume!

More mingling and munching took place and even some instrument playing... I of course had to put on another change of clothes. After some time, everyone gathered for a game of Mafia. Another thing that didn't go as smoothly as it could have since not everyone listened to the rules and it was just a very talkative crowd. If you've ever played it, you'd know this game require you to be quite most of the time... but again, it was still fun and gave us many laughs! Two games of it and we were all pretty exhausted. Some people left, the rest of us did some more... mingling and munching!

Mel the Clown
Mandee the Pirate
Anna the 80's Girl
Cassie the Pirate

Sam the Bum
Jacob as Zorro
Steve as God's Gift to Women
Caleb the Hick/Drunk
Jon the Cowboy
Josh the Pirate
James the 80's girl's boyfriend...in the 80's.

The night was fun, full of games and meeting new people! So even though I don't celebrate the true holiday of Halloween, I still enjoy the opportunity to have a fun night dressed as someone else!

Faith. Doubts. Me.

This is me being open, this is me being honest.

This is me when I doubt, this is me when I question.

Not many people get to see this side of me.

I like to be right.
I like to say the right things.
I like to do what is right.

I don't like to be wrong, or lose, or disappoint people.

Above all, I don't like to admit that I am wrong
..said something false
..made a mistake

...or that I don't know the answer...

Some might call me a
perfectionist,
a goody-goody,

always-have-it-together,
and never-say-a-bad-word-kinda girl...

But since this is me being honest.

I am not perfect.
I make mistakes.

I don't always have it together.

I know for sure, that I don't have all the answers,

that I doubt,

And that I have so many unanswered questions.

I do like to analyze. All summer I've been analyzing.
Myself. My Faith. My Beliefs.

What is it I look for when I go to church? Why?
What did God intended for The Church to be like?

How did The Church all start and what has it come to?

Having to find a church that "suits you" is ridiculously hard.

Moving to NY, made it real to me that
a church, isn't a church, isn't a church.
They are ALL different, even amongst the same denominations!

It made me feel guilty that I walked into a church,

naturally looking for something that "suited me".
That seems so wrong!
How did The Church get so different?
When did it start believing different things? WHY?

Why did some things become more important than others?

I knew Acts was the place to find out.
The beginning of The Church, what better place?
At the very beginning of the summer I read some of it.
Hoping and praying to find quick answers.

I wanted to find what church I should be looking for.

The answers? ...didn't find them.
I was looking for the name of a

church that I should belong to.
I was looking for the wrong answers.
I was discouraged and stopped reading.

With my questions pressing on my heart

as I experience more of the different types of churches

I just got confused.

What is the right way to pray?

Should I really be demanding God to heal someone?

Am I suppose to just trust their heart is right with God and that they believe?
What if I do pray, and the person isn't healed,
is it because I didn't have enough faith?
Or because they didn't believe?
Or maybe just not God's will??

I believe God has the power to heal people,

but why didn't He work like that in the people

at my other church as much as He seems to be here?

Could this church really have more faith than the type of church I'm "used" to?
Does prophesying really have a purpose anymore?

Since when do people prophesy over others?

Where is the line between prophesying and fortunetelling?

Most of the summer, I questioned almost everything.

During a sermon. During the singing. During the praying.

I had my "discernment ears" up,

Not sure what to believe to be The Truth.

At the same time, I fell so much in love with my Creator.

The beauty out here really has captured me.

I had my camera in hand at most given moments.

I never doubted God's existence.

I couldn't.

He was always right there, always.

Proving to me, He loved me and would never leave me.

Being who I am.

Not admitting I was struggling.

I didn't say much to anyone.

Just asking questions to James after services.

Never being to obvious, just wanting his take on somethings.

Dropping slight concern for not finding a church

to call home with Rachel and my parents.

Nothing too dramatic ever.

Then. Rachel went off to Africa.

She invites me to read the book of Acts with her.

GREAT! I always love the idea of accountability!

I had forgot I had search there during previous months.

I was all up for some new findings in the Word of God!

We would read a chapter at a time separately, obviously,

and send our responses to

each other on almost all the verses.

We aren't even close to being done. It has been amazing!

Nonetheless, with such in depth of a study,

it has only made me question and doubt even more.

She has shared her doubt with me and I with her.

Which is good, but also scary.

Why am I still doubting?

Aren't I suppose to find answers here?

Why have more questions come up?

Where am I suppose to find my answers?

I began to doubt that my faith wasn't as big as I thought it was.

This was very upsetting.

To have my faith be uncertain.

How could this be?

What is The Truth?

I know for sure, that I don't have all the answers,
that I do have doubts about so many things,
and that I have so many unanswered questions.

BUT...

I also know that I am forever saved by grace.
I know that, I am always going to live for God.
I know that, I am a follower, lover and believer in my Lord and Savior.

I will always seek to know His Truth,
which is why these thoughts and questions,
then doubt, ever came to exist within me.

Will it bring me down? Never.
Will it separate me from my Jesus? Absolutely Not!

Will I stop seeking because I don't have my answers? No.

Do I have to have all the answers? I guess not...

Does this only increase me desire to know more of this

mysterious and incredible God that I serve? Completely!

I've learned in all of this,
even though some questions still exist,
that I really don't need to know everything

to know The Truth that has set me free!

I don't need to know what the "Will of God" really means,
rather I need to trust that when I pray for direction,

He is directing my path.

I will never fully comprehend the greatest of my Lord,

so as I seek for knowledge, I pray for opportunity to increase my faith.

I'm learning to believe that my faith honors God

and that God will honor my faith.

Painting in the Sky

Sing to God, O kingdoms of the earth,
sing praise to the Lord

to him who rides the ancient skies above,
who thunders with a might voice.



Proclaim the power of God,
whose majesty is over Israel,

whose power is in the skies!

You are aweome, Oh God, in your sanctuary;

the God of Israel gives power
and strength to his people.


Praise be to God!

Paintings created by: God

Photography taken by: His Creation

Writing written by: David (Psalms 68:32-35)