Today is the very first day in my life that I wished I was 21.
James and I are searching through the classified together, trying to find jobs...
Right when I moved here I noticed this Children's Home, just five minutes down the road I live on. My heart leaped with joy! I just knew that that is where I wanted to work, when the strawberries were about done. Nothing could be more perfect, I thought. I love kids and teens, and I strangely enough enjoy the challenge of working with ones who haven't always had love in their life. I was thrilled to know it was so close, it would save on gas, who isn't trying to do that these days?!?
To what I thought was a blessing, James found out they were hiring and looking for someone like me. I was utterly thrilled and I couldn't wait to apply and see what I would be doing. James even found out that they pay more the $10 an hour - that was even better new to me. Love what I do and getting paid a decent amount. OH I couldn't wait, they just posted the ad yesterday so I knew I'd want to get in there quick.
James said we could go in today and we DID!
I got the application and was told to bring it in tomorrow.
Unfortunately, as I excitedly read, to get a job there I'd have to be 21.
It took me a few 20 minutes to really let it sink in.
My heart was broken,
the most broken I've felt in a long time.
James and I are searching through the classified together, trying to find jobs...
Right when I moved here I noticed this Children's Home, just five minutes down the road I live on. My heart leaped with joy! I just knew that that is where I wanted to work, when the strawberries were about done. Nothing could be more perfect, I thought. I love kids and teens, and I strangely enough enjoy the challenge of working with ones who haven't always had love in their life. I was thrilled to know it was so close, it would save on gas, who isn't trying to do that these days?!?
To what I thought was a blessing, James found out they were hiring and looking for someone like me. I was utterly thrilled and I couldn't wait to apply and see what I would be doing. James even found out that they pay more the $10 an hour - that was even better new to me. Love what I do and getting paid a decent amount. OH I couldn't wait, they just posted the ad yesterday so I knew I'd want to get in there quick.
James said we could go in today and we DID!
I got the application and was told to bring it in tomorrow.
Unfortunately, as I excitedly read, to get a job there I'd have to be 21.
It took me a few 20 minutes to really let it sink in.
My heart was broken,
the most broken I've felt in a long time.
I'm still not at ease with the fact that God has something else for me.
Sometimes, I never see the door shutting, until it's slammed in my face.
...it hurts much less if you see it coming.
How does one prevent high hopes and a deep passion let them fall away from what they thought was the right and very best thing?
I'm very sad tonight, wondering what in the world God will do with me now.
P.S. I really miss reading people's comments, have I lost some readers? ....this isn't the very best post to respond to. I just want you to know, I also wish that you would comment, let me know what's going on in your life - that's half the reason I am doing this.
Sometimes, I never see the door shutting, until it's slammed in my face.
...it hurts much less if you see it coming.
How does one prevent high hopes and a deep passion let them fall away from what they thought was the right and very best thing?
I'm very sad tonight, wondering what in the world God will do with me now.
P.S. I really miss reading people's comments, have I lost some readers? ....this isn't the very best post to respond to. I just want you to know, I also wish that you would comment, let me know what's going on in your life - that's half the reason I am doing this.
Dear Sweet Anna,
ReplyDeleteI can so feel your note in my heart this morning. I love you, to be here, in this place with this circumstance, is hard honey. I want to just share a coke and cry with you for a moment. So before you even read another word, here's a big hug! You are a brave soul and I admire your desire to follow your God always, no matter what!
I'm thinking out loud here...
Sometimes in my life there has been a very high correlation between the times that I felt God was most silent and the times I most felt like I needed HIM out loud, present, active, directing! So, I learned, and am still learning, that those are the times to press on, harder and harder towards Him and His word!
Discouragment was often the result, but not the purpose. Discourement sits us down and makes us feel stuck. God never asks us to sit down and get stuck.
He is there, and the answer, perfect to Him, might be hidden from us for His purpose. It might not even be on the radar yet, ask Him to reveal His plan, His perfect for you right now and rest in that prayer. It is certianly a prayer within His will that He would lead, guide and direct you.
I know in my life God has called me more lately into a position of being than of doing. Although going and responding to His call is so important, I get confused in the doing and believe that is all He wants of me, forgetting that real part deep within that draws me to simply be and allow Him to "be the do" in my life.
Take heart!
Here are some verses of encouragment, claim them, pray them and respond to the writer. He knows!
PSalm 27:5
Deut. 26: 17-18
2 Cor. 4: 16-18
Deut. 32:4
Heb. 10:35-39
He is there, I believe He is moving you into a new and wonderful place. Go, with your eyes on HIM!
Praying for you today!
I love you dearly!
Take Heart!
Chris
Thank you Chris,
ReplyDeleteThat is what I needed to hear. Hearing it allows the knowing it to be put into believeing it and looking forward to what He has.
I love you too.